i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
