I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
