i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
