idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
