Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize