So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
