I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
This baby is an asshole
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
