I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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