I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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