What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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