Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
