best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
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I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
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I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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