im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
