ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
