My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
