im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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