So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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