And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
