I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
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