Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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