I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
