The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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