you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
