they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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