sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
