Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
