Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
