just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize