Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
