Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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