Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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