I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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