how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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