The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
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Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
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Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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