Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
everyone is single if you try hard enough
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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