His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
