dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
