I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
