All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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