god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
