I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize