Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
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You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
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We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize