He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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