there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
