i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
