OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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