there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
