I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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