who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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