girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Even my vagina gasped.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
