It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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