I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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