I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
