Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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