I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
