I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
