They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
