shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
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found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
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I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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