Me. At least after what I've been through.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
