eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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