I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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