k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
