I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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